Saturday, November 27, 2010

Erm... Lalala?~

Assalam to Konnichiwa~

Hait... 'Last post' de wa nai...

Ura: Uso darou....
Omote: Iyada!!!

After several years living without a scanner, Ayah suddenly decided to buy us one. It's actually for MUV matters. But then, Ayah gave me the permission to use it anytime~ Yay~! I'm so happy~! Why? Because I'm definitely going to use it wisely~ Taraaa~~~

Art No. 1~

And No. 2~
I'm pretty bad at drawing MEN... and I'm still learning... So, please excuse the ugliness...

(credit to my little brother Hafiz for 'allowing' me to sneak in his room and 'borrow' several manga's.. heee...)

Ura: Wow... you use it 'very WISELY'...
Omote: ehehehe~

Haha~ Because of the scanner, I manage to move a step forward in sketching/drawing manga like characters (I guess)~

Next, I hope that I could buy a tablet so that I could colour the pictures that I've drawn using Photoshop...

That's all~
Mattane Deshou~

Sunday, November 14, 2010


Can't think of a title actually. Hehe~ I guess this is my last post of the year before my internet line is terminated. Huu... Alright~

Dare ka na? Presenting... My besties~ (I guess most of us know already)
Cai-chan to Mira-chan~

Yep, tanah bertuah SMKA Maahad Muar lah yang menemukan kami (x bleh blah tol ayat). hehe~ I've known Cai-chan for about 8 years and Mira-chan for 5 years. I think it's a miracle that we could be so close though actually we are far away to one another. I'm staying in Batu Pahat, Johor, Cai-chan in Shah Alam, Selangor and Mira-chan in Kuantan, Pahang. We further our studies at different places as well. So, after we ended school, I could only contact them through phone and YM. Our friendship started as the three of us have the same interest. Watching anime, reading manga and sketching. But then, as time passed by, we're getting closer and closer to each other.

Therefore, Cai-chan to Mira-chan, hontou ni hontou ni HONTOU NI ARIGATO for always be there for me, accepting me as I am. Arigatou. Arigatou. Arigatou. I felt like saying Arigatou to them for the rest of my life. Haha~ Honestly, if I were to choose whose the first and the second important person among you two, I won't be able to do it because both of you are very very VERY IMPORTANT to me. I might cause trouble to both of you, telling you my problems. But then, both of you replied you feel appreciated that I trusted you. I might take your time unnecessarily, but you said that your happy to hear from me, doesn't matter if it's about my problem or my happy story. I felt the same as well, happy when you trust me. I guess this is what they call friendship?

I really love both of you and I'm really grateful to have known both of you.
Again, Arigatou~
Thank You Allah for giving not one, but two wonderful persons. InsyaAllah, I'll appreciate them for the rest of my life. May Allah strengthen our bond~

That's All~
Mattane deshou~

Friday, November 12, 2010


Assalamualaikum and Konnichiwa... I'm really bad at giving titles. So, just assume that it's an emo post.

Born as the first child of the family, I've been taught not to create or cause any problem. Because of that, I prefer to do things alone, as I thought that I will cause others problem if I ask anybody to help me. Therefore, I thought that I have to be stronger that anybody else to be able to do things alone. I tried to master as many skills as possible so that I won't be needing any help and I tried to fulfill as many request as possible from my friends so that they won't run into problems. I even ignored the fact that I'm a girl, thus, preferred walking alone going anywhere, thinking that my request will cause my friends trouble. Though I've had been scolded many many times about the 'walking alone' issue, I ignored them as my concern is that I should not be a hindrance to anybody. I've even 'transformed' from a crybaby to a person who couldn't cry at all even when needed, remembering someone saying that seeing me cry causing that person headache.

I'm also really bad at making decisions for others. But I'm pretty confident in what is best for me, solely, though normally I'll just obey my parents thinking that they know what's the best. However, after an incident, I'm no longer confident with my stances. Within 20 years of living, what the heck am I actually doing?

It's really painful seeing others in pain. I regret it, very very much. Seeing many hurting because of me, I could see how huge sin I have made. I'm really disappointed with myself, I could see clearly that I'm actually useless, no matter what I do, I'm just a trouble maker. We may pretend that nothing happened, but how can I pretend when it's clearly written on their faces that they are hurting. I thought that I should never been born and I wished that the incident never happened. I even thought that it's better for me to disappear. Haha.. I'm a coward who loves to run away. Then I realized, I totally forgotten about the sixth 'Rukun Iman', Believe in Allah's Qada' and Qadar, until Allah reminded me. It suddenly popped into my mind before I started praying and it made my mind calm for a while. I felt like crying as much as I can remembering about this. Allah still love His worst servant.

I followed a manga entitled 'Dengeki Daisy' until now. It's a funny manga, however, there's a confusing quote which I couldn't understand. The quote "The pain of your sin, don't you ever forget about it" makes me wonder, why would the author repeated this quote many times? Isn't it a cruel statement? But I guess, I could understand it a bit now. InsyaAllah, I'll never forget the pain of my sin as well.

Forgive me for what I've done though I don't think I should be forgiven.

That's all.
Mattane Deshou..