Thursday, April 26, 2012

A Tribute for a Special Someone...

Assalamualaikum.

Nampaknye inilah post pertama saya dalam BM dan bakal bercampur dengan Bahasa Inggeris. Hopefully it's much more meaningful.

Autumn break kali ini, saya mengharapkan keseronokan di tanah Gold Coast, tempat ramai manusia bergembira mencabar diri dan merasa seronoknya takut dengan rides-rides yg ada. Yep, I was satisfied that I could fight my fear of height. I was proud of myself when I was in Movie World for feeling nothing, I thought life will last forever. Until the next day, when I opened my facebook account in the morning, I found out that someone that I knew had passed away. And I thought, what the heck am I.

I was shocked, surprised, and more surprised when I knew how she meet The Creator. My tears wouldn't come out, her face, her voice was in my head, my memory with her keep on playing in my head, honestly, till now. True, the way she met The Creator was contoversional, people made lots and lots of speculation and the picture of her dead body was everywhere made me feel uneasy. They don't know who she was, and I'm here to tell.

Sahabat saya tu, saya tak rapat sangat pown dengan die. Percakapan die sangat lemah lembut, pemalu dan sampai sekarang, saya tak mampu nak buat perbandingan die dgn siapa-siapa sebab 'she is one in a million'. Saya satu sekolah dengan die dari form 1 sampai form 5 dan kami budak asrama. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, saya satu kelas dengan die masa tingkatan 3. Kenangan yg paling sy ingati ialah, satu hari, die ajak saya teman die pergi hospital. Saya masa tu memang agak terjal, ikut jep tanpa byk tanye, sbb malas nk pergi kelas. Dah la dengan gembira shopping makanan kat hospital (budak asrama bila tetiba kluar dari asrama). From that day, she's my inspiration.

Die cakap, die nak berubah. Die nak kuatkan suara die bila bercakap, sebab die rasa suara die terlalu perlahan. Die nak ubah diri die jadi lebih peramah, dan sejak hari itu, die berubah dan saya sangat gembira dengan perubahan itu. I know, among us friends in the same batch, some of us know about this and most of us were happy for her. Die nampak lebih gembira, die pandai buat lawak. Lawak die xpernah menyakitkan hati, dan saya serta sahabat-sahabat baik saya sangat2 amazed dan gembira bila die buat lawak. I was so amazed and I know, she worked very hard. I was very happy with her changes.

Bila waktu pjk, barulah kami tahu, she's very good at sports. Dahlah waktu tu main touchdown rugbi (x ganas mane pown sebab perempuan2 jep main). Rasa sangat seronok, dan sangat2 amazed. She smiled more and I know my friends were happy for her as well. Klau tanye pasal pergaulan dgn lelaki dan perempuan, die sangat menjaga pandangannya. Saya teringat cerita seorg kawan skolah tentang sahabat saya ni, "kalau die cakap dengan kau, die tak pandang kau pn. Die pandang dinding kat belakang kau". We laugh when we heard that, but again, I was amazed, because I failed to do that.

Dulu, masa zaman jahiliyah, saya tak terlepas dari berkata tentang keburukan org lain. Tapi, sahabat saya itulah satu-satu nya yang saya dan rakan2 xde idea pn nak mngumpat ape. Boleh juga jadi kami tak sanggup nk mngumpat tentang die sebab die terlampau baik, tapi, memang tak ada apa untuk diumpatkan.

Waktu form 4, die pernah conduct roll call pelajar aspuri. Again, again and again, I was amazed with her will to change. Saya tahu, bukan saya seorg yang rasa macam ni, tp sahabat saya tu merupakan orang yang saya akan rasa sangat excited bila berjumpa dgn die, because she seemed happier and her changes inspired me. She had been fighting with herself for so long, and I saw her winning. Even when my best friend Mira-chan tell me about her (she's in UPSI as well), I got excited and I wish to meet her.

Too bad, Allah didn't grant my wish. To be honest, til today, I still wish that what I knew is a dream. I still can't fully accept this news. What I wished so much is that all bloggers who wrote about her remove the picture of her dead body. Rather than wishing, I beg all bloggers to posted her story to please, please, please delete the picture of her dead body. I know, the picture might not mean anything to most people, but for us friends, we feel it is not right. Apatah lagi perasan keluarga Allahyarhamah, pasti akan lebih sedih. I did nothing to help her when she was alive, I wish I could to something to lessen her family's sadness.

Bila terbaca post ni...
"Pada mulanya sangat tak dapat nak menerima kenyataan perkara ini berlaku..
tapi lama-kelamaan, sedar bahawa diri ini seorang Muslim
dan pemergian seorang sahabat haruslah direlakan...
Kerana pemergiannya adalah untuk bertemu Tuhan yang Esa...
Diriku disini akan sentiasa mendoakanmu,merinduimu dan sentiasa mengingati jasamu.." Cai-chan
Terasa macam dilempang-lempang... Thanks Cai-chan, may Allah let us meet again.

I want the world to know that I believe in her. Firmly. I wish everyone believes in her too. I love her, and I missed her as well. I know, all her sahabat feel the same. She's my inspiration and will always be. May Allah forgive her and May Allah forgive us. Al-Fatihah untuk Allahyarhamah Fatimah Mina bt. Md Juferi.

Now I felt Maher Zain's song, So Soon, is so meaningful. I really want to shed my tears for her, I wonder if I get to do it one day. Tapi kalau tak menangis itu lebih baik, tak perlu la kan..