Random Thoughts

Lama dh blog ni ditinggalkn. Sampai lupa, knapa la berhasrat untuk tulis blog ni sebenarnye? Ahaha~ Now, where should I start? Okay, I have been wondering, why am I here, am I doing something right? End up, I spent most of my 4 month being frustrated. A lot of frustration came into mind. Like, why is this place like this? Why I'm I trapped here? Am I taking the wrong course? Should I back out now and find a new future? Why am I always alone? Why can't anybody help me? Why no one understands me? That kind of stuff.

Even more, people around me have been talking here and there about making change. I thought, 'Yeah, let's do it!', but then, I made my own reasons to stop halfway. Life becomes more frustrating, maybe because I gave up too much, and I put the blame on others. I felt I know so much, this will work out and that won't work out, that I felt it's useless to continue most of my resolutions. I also felt like, this person did it wrong and I'm the only one who I right!, yet deep inside, I regretted  a lot. And all of the sudden , the world has changed. People are making progress, and I stayed stagnant. It feels like I'm the rabbit in the rabbit and the tortoise race.

So, what's with these attitudes? Yeah, horrible. Yet I believe, deep inside every one of us, although we failed so many time, we said that we want to give in many many time, no heart will be satisfied by giving up, right? Making resolutions is easy, yet retaining it is the most difficult part. Especially when we think we are alone. But the fact is, we are never alone. Yes, it's hard to make a change, even being able to change one bad attitude within ourself feels like we have used all the energy for a week, and our heart wavers when we have to repeat that deed again, made us reverted back to our old self. But somehow I realized, the moment I said I can't do it, I lied to myself. And because of that lie, I missed my opportunity. I'm just being lazy, that's all.

Yep, laziness. It should be our enemy. Because everything that happened to us, most of it is because of us.