心の言葉。。。

Assalamualaikum and　こんばんは～

Yeah, I can see that this place is dusty... 久しぶりだね～Since I'm learning Japanese, I'm going to use quite a number of it. Hehe~

I've tried to make a steam bun today. To be exact, it was just now. How did it turn out? I tell you, it's utter disaster~ Haha~ As I was googling about how to make steam bun, I learned that we could make a lot of shape out of the dough. For example, bunny, porcupine, peaches and etc. etc. I tried to make bunny shapes bun it became hamsters. I don't really mind and put choc chips as the eyes (yep, I know it's kinda idiotic). Happily, I steamed it. It turned out the hamster became flat and the eyes were just like the tears of blood. Poor cute hamster become ugly after sauna (I don't even dare to look at it more than 5 seconds). Looks like I have to eat them by myself, because it's too ugly. Plus, I think I've killed the yeast in the dough by putting hot water in it. Well, my hands were too cold that I think it's lukewarm and ignoring the puffing water vapours that came out from the water. Silly me.

It's a good experience anyway. Yesterday, I've kinda managed to make the infamous Melon Bread (メロンパン）and though that Allah will grand my wish again today. Nah, Allah made me learn something this time. Sure it is kind of sad, especially after looking at the ugly flat hamster with 'bleeding eyes' and 'burst stomach'. I was thinking of not doing the steam bun ever again and kind of reflected something similar. 何ですか。

はい、はい。日本語の勉強です～It's about studying Japanese. To be honest, compared to last semester, this semester's Japanese is much much MUCH MORE tougher. I am lost right now especially with the kanji （漢字）. We are now in week 8, every week, we will learn 12 kanji (Chinese characters) every week. I've only memorized until week 4 the meaning of the characters. Starting week 6, I couldn't even memorize the character itself. I'm sure lost as I've been left behind. If I don't have to study much last semester, but this sem, it's different. There was even a day that I felt so bored learning, and it's the first time I felt that way in Japanese class. Sure, my grades had dropped drastically, there was also several blank spaces everytime I answered my class quizes. It was sure a great culture shock. I even think of giving up.

However, my happiness came back today. I don't really care about how much I've been left behind. I'm so happy that today, I've learned some new about Japanese. I realized, I really love this subject. I've decided, I am going to use every chance that I have to learn this language.

I remembered that someone said liking something too much is not a very good thing to do. That time, I hadn't really thought about why I was so determined to learn this language, and why I like it very much. Today, I am sure, what I like is actually what I've seen in the Japanese anime and drama. The values that had been portrayed in the Japanese drama and anime are the things that attracted me the most. Even the Japanese lyrics attracted me to this language. So, I became curious, and kept asking why and how (all the WH questions)?

Why the Japanese directors want to portray that value? Where did they learn it? How could the mangaka think about that values? Why are they so intelligent? Aren't they just mangaka's who are busy with their deadlines? What/Who are their inspiration? and etc. etc. etc. Most of the time I really want to understand what the directors/ mangakas want to portray to the extend I think reading subtitles become a hindrance.

Most important, I want to know why we didn't become like that. Aren't we Muslims? Allah had taught us everything in the Quran, but why can't we portray that? They are not Muslim, but why do they value friendship more than us, why do they value lives more than us? From where did their strength come from? Why are they willing to do that? I've met Kak Linda who is living in Japan for 8 years last winter, and she approved, the values that I saw in the drama are the Japanese culture. I've been saved by Allah many many times through the animes/dramas. That's why, I have no choice but to learn this language. Peace~

I just want this post to be a reminder if I think of dropping out this language. Plus, no matter how ugly the reality that I will learn in the future, I should not give up. Similar to the steam bun, maybe I should try to make it again next time. Everything ends once we give up.

Alright~ That's it for today~

じゃあ～またね～